You are to do two blog posts. 1st do one on anything relating to your life and or our life you dont mine people knowing. Describe what sets it out apart from any other and why you are writing about it…other then I made you . No less then 800 words.

Second you are to write one over your thoughts and feelings dealing with our time on Tuesday night while in your role. Did you like it? Did you hate it? What can be improved? Do you have ideas for another night like it? Do you think I done well or not? How did you feel about it all? Was aftercare good enough for the nights activities? I want to know your thoughts and your feelings. NO less then 1000 words.

You have till Saturday at 6pm my time be 4pm your time to do these.

I enjoy more then just being dominating over my slave, she is also my life long companion, my lover, my soon to be wife, and my baby girl. She is more to me then my slave and I love all the things she is. I can not openly just place one over the other and tell her “W/we are a 24/7 couple so I can only love you and love you like a slave” because to me thats not right on any level. W/we have our D/s sides we play with, we have our ABDL side we play with and most of all W/we have O/our loving and caring no alt lifestyle time that we both enjoy a great deal.

The concept that you have to be a 24/7 couple is unfounded simply because there is more to a relationship even in a D/s relationship then just sex, toys, and dominating a slave and teaching her how to better herself though don’t get me wrong I support all those things and more in the lifestyle.

What I am getting at though is that the primary reason why most people are not 24/7 lifestyle people is the reason of job safety, social safety, and religious views. Lets face it if you are a member of a church and you are also into D/s and they find out you will most likely be condemned and banished from the church. If someone at work finds out your part of the lifestyle you could very well lose your job over it, and of course if people find out about it you could be ridiculed or socially unaccepted because of your choices. Do I agree that any of that is right? Hell NO, could I be partial? Maybe, but I believe that what goes on in the bedroom and or dungeon between two or more consenting adults is no bodies business but those that are partaking in the activities.

Do I enjoy being a Master and a Daddy? Hell yeah I do and I enjoy every moment of it as well, but I enjoy being the soon to be husband and lover to my wonderful girl more then anything.

Through the day I would do different things to tease her or to make her want more while she was at school. When she finally got online we started by showing our sides on Second Life and then after a while I wanted to take it into the RL realms so I made her get a few items that would help me instruct her to do some pussy torture to herself. A thin hair band that was rubber enough to take the place of a rubber band seeing she didn’t have any, a clip and a cloth to use as a soft in between for her clip and pussy. I later made her get some ink pens seeings she didn’t have pencils to put the band on to make a pussy twist.

First she looked a little worried and tired so I woke her up by making her play with her nipples and then pinch and twist them. she has extremely sensitive nipples so this only got her more horny then she already was and awake. After that her having to take off her clothes I made her please herself a bit as I watched and told her different techniques to make her experience even better at one point she almost screamed out from something I told her to do that made her cum in no time.

Next we used the band a bit then tried the clip that ended up not working so well. We then used the pens and with them pinched together by the band against her clit I made her turn them like a cork bottle and after a few turns she was withering in pain and pleasure begging for me to let her stop but I told her to hold it. When it was said and done her clit was nice and swollen and she was extremely tired and dripping wet.

I at last made her do a few other things that were more towards our ABDL side then made her go to bed naked. I plan on doing a few things this morning to her for fun then we’ll get back to just being us again.

I recently went down to California to meet my lover and her family, I loved every moment I spent with her, I mean we are engaged so why wouldn’t I right? Well on a few nights we kinda got into our roles, not as in depth as we would have liked but enough to establish the roles and to have a little fun. However I was not fully into it, a little because I was not sure how far to go while we were at her parents place, nor was I for sure how far we should have went under the circumstances. So I went extremely light on her because of this and well…she called me on it. During our moments to just cuddle and be together we started talking about our roles and how in not so many words “I wasn’t being the best” yeah, its hard enough to be told that she enjoyed it but she felt like you weren’t doing enough then to be told you weren’t even ranking on her scale….yeah talk about a moral dropper and a feeling of loss.

All I could do was the same thing I always do when people say things that I know very well could be true and that hurts, I clammed up and just sat there holding her stroking her hair letting her wonder what thoughts were going through my mind. she went as far as to basically ask if I was really even still interested in the lifestyle or if maybe we should stop. I think that question hurt me the worse simply because I enjoy our lifestyle, I enjoy being with her, I enjoy our moments together and I enjoy being her Master and her Daddy and her future husband. So for her to ask me if I wanted to end our lifestyle was the hardest rock I think I have had hurled at me in a long time. And again all I could do was remain silent and fight back the feeling of loss.

Of course kabs is smart enough to realize that I was hurting from what she was saying and she apologized for it a great deal during the remaining days we had together before I had to head back to Kentucky. But just with that conversation I made the decision that it was time to stop being so reserved in my own thoughts and actions with our lifestyle. So I started to be more out going on IMVU and now SL with our lifestyle finding new places, talking to friends, meeting new people and just having fun with my slave out in public. I have joined a great site called fetlife.com which I endorse greatly as a place to meet new people and to find people with all sorts of fetishes that can relate to you and can help you with understanding almost everything about any fetish. W/we are being more and more adventurous with our sides and can’t to get back into an RL role again.

Did what she say hurt? Yeah, quite a bit actually to the point I started to question myself, but through questioning myself I realized that I needed to improve myself before I improved her through her training. I think that I am making the right steps and she seems to agree so all is well on this new page.

If you (the reader) have your own story of finding yourself in your fetish or alt lifestyle please post your thoughts here in a comment and I will make sure it gets through the filters. I’d love to hear from you all.

For a quick update I am getting more involved in IMVU with our lifestyle W/we are in a great house led by one Mistress named Kocomojo, who has made me an officer in the group because of O/our long standing friendship which will continue to endure. I have started getting geared up on Second Life which is new to me but just from what my love and I have been able to play on it with it offers a whole lot more then IMVU ever did and ever will in the way of the lifestyle. I am also now on Fetlife.com which is a great online community based site for people of any and all lifestyles seeking to meet others like them. My fetlife.com name is BigDaddySM which I have used many times before.

NOW as for me and my lovers BDSM and D/s side we are moving at a good pace I am working more and more on establishing myself openly about the lifestyle in the fact I am being more adventurous and starting to take control more and more from her at times. W/we are taking more of an interest in working things out about how W/we were in the past with O/our sides and we are working more RL things that can be done over large distances until she’s here. If anyone know of a good, cheap, collar store that has collars that don’t look collaring but more necklace or choker like let me know

Our age play side has been for the most part been taking a back seat but as of recently I have done more to bring it out of her and will continue to do so until she’s more comfortable with that side of herself. She loves to be the baby girl but sometimes she has a real bad habit of letting go and getting fully immersed in the role and I have come up with some ideas to help her along with that.

All in all here we go again and I hope to get people visiting here on a regular bases. Today is the day when the Master and Daddy is back and this time he comes in force

I am going to soon start on a project that will take me a lil bit to finish but I will be working on a page dedicated to me in the sense I will combining all my aspects to one site. I will in a sense be coming out that I am in fact into BDSM by combining my daily things and happenings with my BDSM side as well as my political stuff to a exstent. Why am I doing this? Because honestly I am collecting too many blogs and I need a place where I can combine it all into one area and let people pick and choose what they want to read and not read.

I plan on starting this next week and hoping to have it finished the following week if everything goes well. I hope to see you all there.

Cassie my love has already wrote her post and I worry about what it is she thinks on this issue though I know her she’s going to blame herself for this problem and in reality I wish it was her at times that was causing this issue but its not its all me and she needs to learn how to not take the blame for something thats not her fault in the slightest that she is doing everything right and as of late I have been doing things wrong by her and for that I am ashamed of.

So here it is, she has been wondering why it seems that I have not been in the “mood” as of late for our other sides like our ABDL and BDSM sides and if she is doing something wrong to make me feel like that when in reality the answer to that is no she’s not doing anything at all. We have as of late gotten away from our alt sides well due to petals training for one, her coming down for another and because I have just not been in the mood to do it. Is that odd? Yes it is for me but cassie has begun to take it the way she shouldn’t and worries she is doing something wrong when in reality she’s not.

I really don’t know what to say or how to describe it but here lately I have been physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. I dont know if its my depression coming back or just everything going on in life hitting me at once and its not fun. But thats neither here nor there, to me I love my lifestyles and I love being her daddy and her Master, but there comes a point where I question myself on the things I do and how I do things and then I get overwhelmed with wanting to find new things and new ways and trying things and in the end I forget to just let it go and to be myself and let her help me do what WE want to do. I think I kinda got that way from being around Kal because he just seemed so much better in the lifestyle then me and I guess I have the over protectionist idea where if I find someone better I strive to beat them and then realize I cant and feel like a bad person after word.

I feel that for me I am hurting her more not being able to do more I am neglecting her and taking away from her. I feel like she deserves so much more then I can give but I am trying to do more and I know I have been failing a lot here lately but I can safely say that even though I have not been the best Master or Daddy I have been a damn good boyfriend but in all honesty I know that I need to do more and to see that I cant be the anti social guy I was before because thats hurting her and I need to be the bigger man and do more. So I will even if it takes me a few months to get over myself and my more shy side I will do so because I got her to break her walls down now I need to work on my own walls.

To my love, I love you and I am sorry I have made you feel neglected and I know I will slip up and make mistakes but I swear to you I will always love you and I will always be your Master, your Daddy and your lover till the end of time.

petal my sub in training is still with us and the more I think about it if she can survive her own “Hell Week” then I can see keeping her on as a permanent addition to my group. Of course she can never truly be my slave as that is only reserved for the right of kabs she can be my sub for as long as she so wishes. But first she will have to survive the trials of fire that she will endure this week and maybe the week after cassie comes down.

Cassie officially comes down this Saturday and that is keeping me going and running around to get things done before she comes in. I doubt we will be doing much online that week as we will mainly be spending time with one another. I cant wait for her to be here as it will mean the world to me to finally meet her face to face and finally be able to hold her and kiss her.

I am now officially full time at work so that is making me more money but it still aint enough cause they just take out more for taxes now so I cant win for losing around here. I am trying to save money for a trip to Cali this year and I know I can do it so its no big deal. Once I go there and meet her step dad and her siblings we will be one step closer to being married…we’ll just have to wait till after she grads college for it to happen.

Other then that I still play games and still hang out on IMVU so see you there

In the home front things are getting weird, not because of the fact Cassie is coming down in June and to be exact 25/24 days that is a great thing that I am looking forward too every day. Cassie and I have as of late had some issues over some personal matters of our lives and it reached a boiling point yesterday and I think and I know that we both done a few things that we knew we shouldn’t have and we said things we shouldn’t have…or maybe not said things we should of have. In the end I in my irritation done a few things I am not proud of and it hurt her and scared her, to which when I realized my mistake I acted as I should have, I called her and we talked about what it was that set me off and we worked the issue out.

Last night I learned that my frustrations and irritations have a way to make me loose judgment and to make me act in a way that normally I do not act, its a side of me that I try hard to control and most times I can do it without thinking, but last night I found out that there are times when I am going to have to think about it more. The point is that I made a mistake last night and I paid for it in hearing my Cassie in tears and thats when the effect hit me harder then any. So with that said we have made up and plan on doing things better then we have been and I know we will make it through this and through anything because we love each other more then anything else and that is what keeps us going our love, devotion, our trust, and our friendship and the need of each other in our lives.

I am still working and spending time with Cassie, we have finally gotten her back into the swing of IMVU as well which is a good thing she is providing a great deal of support in my current endeavors of providing education and training to a sub of the House however I will go over that further in my next post soon as I am done with this one. The House is steady as we are getting a few new people here and there rolling in either by request from members or just passing by and seeing what the House has to offer. I admit that I am a bit needed more on the forums and the forums are in need of some reshaping as well as the need for an off site forum but one thing at a time. We are starting to get into the swing of things again on podcasting me and Sean.

All in all things are going bout as good as they can I suppose with a few minor bumps in the road like always. I’ll try to post more but no promises as I am getting spread thin.